1. Today is April 15th, the last day to file your taxes. Or, as Wesley Snipes refers to it, Monday.
2. Over the weekend, singer Justin Bieber visited the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam and signed the guestbook, “Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber.” If you think that’s bad, later, at his concert, he dedicated “One Less Lonely Girl” to her.
3. Over the weekend, singer Justin Bieber visited the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam and signed the guestbook, “Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber.” Unfortunately Bieber’s head was too big to fit in the attic.
4. According to a new study, black women were the most likely to gain weight while using a long-acting form of contraception. In response, black men said, “Yeah, we’re okay with that.”
5. According to research published on Friday, a 2 million-year-old ancestor of man had a mixture of ape and human-like features that allowed it to hike vast distances on two legs with as much ease as it could scurry up trees. “Oh, you mean Bob?” said Larry King.
6. A little-known French sports doctor, who spent 16 years studying the busts of about 300 women, sent a scare through a country known for its love of lingerie this week, when he suggested bras were useless. Something tells me those 300 women didn’t know they were being studied.
7. A little-known French sports doctor, who spent 16 years studying the busts of about 300 women, sent a scare through a country known for its love of lingerie this week, when he suggested bras were useless. I hope he has room on his mantle for the Noble Prize.
8. Virginia on Friday required abortion clinics to meet stricter hospital-style standards, making it the latest state to tighten rules on the procedure. In a related story, Virginia has updated its state motto to “Virginia is for Lovers?”
9. According to a hospital in southern Turkey, the first woman to have a successful womb transplant from a dead donor is pregnant. Unfortunately, the unborn child will have to grow up without a father because he has been arrested for necrophilia.
10. Over the weekend, two cruise ships picked up 21 people adrift on rafts off the coast of Florida. Said the refugees, “Did that say ‘Carnival’ on the side of the ship? That’s okay, we’ll take our chances on the rafts.”
