1. During an interview with Piers Morgan, troubled actress Lindsay Lohan said she’s only used cocaine “maybe four or five times in my life.” Well, it’s official, Lindsay Lohan can’t count.
2. During an interview with Piers Morgan, troubled actress Lindsay Lohan said she’s only used cocaine “maybe four or five times in my life.” And then, just like when Pinocchio tells a lie, her nose started to bleed.
3. Over the weekend, Honey Boo Boo’s mother Mama June wed longtime partner Sugarbear. They are registered anywhere jerky is sold.
4. Over the weekend, Honey Boo Boo’s mother Mama June wed longtime partner Sugarbear while wearing a camouflage wedding dress. Proving there are limits to what camouflage can hide.
5. PETA is upset with New Jersey Governor Chris Christie after he tweeted about killing a spider that crossed his desk. Really PETA? That’s not even close to the worst thing that has happened to an animal at that desk, come back around lunchtime.
6. Yesterday Grammy-winning singer Lauryn Hill was sentenced to three years in prison for failure to pay taxes. Yet another setback for Wesley Snipes, C.P.A.
7. The FDA warned that use of migraine drugs in pregnant women could result in lower IQ scores for the baby. But, in their defense, they are babies.
8. A new study suggests that black people are more likely than white people to develop multiple sclerosis. I guess they weren’t faking those pimps walks.
9. Three woman believed to have been abducted years ago were found alive on Monday at a Cleveland home. Begging the question, is it better to be alive in Cleveland or dead anywhere?
10. Three woman believed to have been abducted years ago were found alive on Monday at a Cleveland home. Their first words after being rescued, “Why’s LeBron wearing that Heat jersey?”
11. In a ceremony held last night in New York City, the James Beard Awards were handed out to the best chefs and restaurants in the country. The attendees were entertained by the comedic stylings of Guy Fieri attempting to cook.
